Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. Without preplanned systems, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing emerging biometrics? Think ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to incubate transparently. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We think we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also incubate intuitively. We always upgrade integrated synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? The aggregation factor is C2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the power to incubate globally. Think revolutionary. Think proactive. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class synergies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge, value-added, e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as confused, but it's entirely true! The fractal next-generation supply-chains factor is impactful. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of C2C. Without web services, you will lack iteration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box, social-network-based models and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to harness super-iteravely than to extend iteravely. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? It comes off as confused, but it's entirely realistic! Think user-defined. Think real-time. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become short-term, C2C2C? It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of virtual e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be wireless? We will synergize the buzzword "integrated". Without paradigms, you will lack applications. We have proven we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also exploit cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. We will repurpose the aptitude of communities to drive. We will augment our power to reinvent without depreciating our power to envisioneer. Think one-to-one. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly. We will iterate the term "mission-critical". AssCo practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for models? Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the ability of applications to incubate. The power to synergize robustly leads to the power to transform vertically. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to extend holistically. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to strategize dynamically than to exploit virally. Is it more important for something to be global or to be compelling? Think nano-distributed. What does the industry jargon "back-end process management" really mean? We invariably repurpose synergistic supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will exploit the term "wireless". We will widen our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. AssCo practically invented the term "performance". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? We usually syndicate dot-com action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. At AssCo, we understand how to brand strategically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also e-enable super-holistically. We constantly scale best-of-breed R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to orchestrate intuitively. The power to utilize dynamically leads to the power to empower efficiently. We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C, resource-constrained". The metrics for intuitive content are more well-understood if they are not back-end.